The Cowboy Who Wasn't There: E-book Companion Site

Friday, July 24, 2009

Sad, Sad, Doubting John

Sadly for John Loftus, his campaign to flatulate in the review columns of my book The Impossible Faith and bring all his friends with him to do the same, seems to have resulted in a spike in sales, if the Amazon sales rank numbers are to be believed. That may or may not last, but in the meantime, it seemed like a good time to offer this here (as well as on TWeb)....

Sing to the tune of Jim Croce's, "Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown"

Well the north side of Angola
Is the cleanest part of town
And if you go up there
You better just beware
Of carpet cleaner Doubting John

Now DJ with his hat on
made him stand about two foot four
He’s a storefront cowboy with an ego boost
and a horse bit in his craw

And its sad, sad Doubting John
The saddest man in the whole danged town
Sadder than a stomped-on frog
And meaner than a Dawkins blog

Now DJ he a conman
And he likes to sell his books
And he likes to shine up on their front
With his right-good handsome looks!

He got a blog he posts on daily
Where he puts all his rantings at
He got to sign in there a thousand times an hour
For raisin’ up the traffic stats

And its sad, sad Doubting John
The saddest man in the whole danged town
Sadder than a stomped-on frog
And meaner than a Dawkins blog

Well one day bout a year ago
DJ shootin’ pool
And there on Dee Dee’s forum
There was J. P. Holding
And whoo, John lost his cool

Well he dragged himself on over
And the beating did proceed
And Doubting John had learned a lesson ‘bout a-messin’with
apologists out his league

And its sad, sad Doubting John
The saddest man in the whole danged town
Sadder than a stomped-on frog
And meaner than a Dawkins blog

Well J.P. sent John a -reelin’
And when they went aside to see
DJ looked like a cartoon villain
Who’d been blown up with TNT

And its sad, sad Doubting John
The saddest man in the whole danged town
Sadder than a stomped-on frog
And meaner than a Dawkins blog

And its sad, sad Doubting John
The saddest man in the whole danged town
Sadder than a stomped-on frog
And meaner than a Dawkins blog

Yeah, he was sadder than a stomped-on frog
And meaner than a Dawkins blog

Saturday, July 18, 2009

John's Economic Stimulus Package: Gimme More, Gimme, Gimme More

Alright...alright...alright, so this is going to be another post on the moral descension that Debunking Christianity seems to be progressively making these days. This time, I'm aiming my criticisms at the ever-improving "new look" featuring all sorts of advertisements and gimmicks that John has uploaded in hopes of his readers pouring out their hard-earned cash whether it be business adverts or instant messaging conversations with "the man" himself.

Let me explain: As of the current timing this is being posted, John has uploaded an advert on the top right hand corner of DC's main page which reads "Your Ad Here" with a caption above which also reads "Click the image to find out more." By clicking on the image, you are lead to this link, within (no surprise) Debunking Christianity: It reads:

Would You Like to Reach a Potentially Huge Audience?

Sitemeter informs me that DC reaches over 40,000 visitors a month. We consistently rank among the top Atheist sites on the web too. Unreasonable Faith ranked us 4th, while Common Sense Atheism ranked us 6th.

To find out how you can reach these people with your product or service, no matter what page in our archives they visit here at DC, e-mail me. Serious inquiries only. Send me a description of your product or service, and/or a link to your site or Blog. The cost is reasonable, just ask.

Thanks so much.

I'm a bit lost here with precise logical objective in the adverts: Since when did the business of debunking the Christian religion turn into an avenue for revenue? And it becomes even more confusing when the exact incentive, other than gaining web traffic, is never really specified in having their website advertised on DC.

Well, confusing is actually the wrong word here. It's pretty obvious what this is all about. And me being a skeptic of the Christian religion, I can honestly say there is nothing that would compell me to "advertise" on a site like that run by a man like John. The number of web traffic does not impress me in the slightest, and I don't see why it should appeal to anyone's interests. Neither should the "it's a reasonable me" string of reasoning appeal to anyone with the cognition of a chimpanzee. And with that said, it doesn't seem as if this money-making attempt is having even remote success, as there are no advertisements on Debunking Christianity than aren't from John & Friends themselves.

The "Big One" is our next exhibition, which instead of merely providing you with a bogus service for an ambiguous "reasonable cost" offer, John has allowed his readers the opportunity to debate with him for a fixed rate: 75 cents a minute!

Sure...75 cents isn't allot of money when you look at it for its face value. Yet most conversations on average last for much more than a single measly minute, especially instant-messaging. The numbers begin to add up when minutes turn into half hours and half hours turn into full-fledged hours. Obviously the cost will begin to climb exponentially, if you have a brain to realize this. But here is some mathematical evidence to prove my point anyway:

30 minutes: .75 x 30 = $22.50

1 hour: 22.50 x 2 = $45.00

Within one hour's time John has just made a profit of nearly half a hundred dollars, just for having an instant-message chat with someone who just drools over the concept of being able to talk directly with John at instaneous speed. Now, let's suppose that the maximum average time length for these conversations is 3 hours time. Once more:

45.00 x 3 = $135.00

So, is 75 cents asking for a bit much? If you still don't think so, then take into consideration that Alexa Web Trafficking services show that the average daily visit to John's blog is within the 4-5 people a day range (which, not so surprisignly, also happens to be the statistic to this very blog). Soo we'll take the maximum average of 3 hours and multiply it by the maximum number of visitors to John's blog to produce the highest number in profit that John could or does make in a day off of this simplistic gimmick:

135.00 x 5 = $675.00

With that type of money made in a single day while doing minimal "work", John could go out and buy himself a nice stereo or home theatre system for his house. Maybe he could buy a nice lawnmower. Or even an automatic robotic voice-command lawnmower, so that he doesn't get his new suit he just picked up covered in grass clippings.

For the love of logic, why would anyone want to spend 75 cents a minute talking in an instant messaging window just to talk with someone who thinks he's about as important as Joe Rogan thinks he is at being near the top of the food chain? Why would I want to spend that kind of money to talk to John on a live connection when I could just post a response to one of his inane ramblings on for FREE?

There is no rocket science to the money-making desperation that is so Loftus-personality laced. John commits to the biggest culturally universal sin of them all: Greed. And while it's his blog and he does with it what pleases him, there is no reason for any logical person (or even a fan of Loftus) to engage him in IM by paying his lazy-ass money as an alternative to A) Posting a comment on his blog, or B) Posting a response in the TheologyWeb message boards without costing you a penny. And at the end of the day, if you're unsure on whether or not to side with John, would you really give out your hard-earned money to someone who is essentially a "stranger"? You might do it for strippers, but would you do it for someone whose motives you are unsure of? Their intents? What that money of yours that you might be throwing away will end up going towards? And if you don't end up liking this person, even if its for good reason, you're the only person who will suffer afterwards.

Save your money and spend it on something more worthwhile. If you are absolutely dying to speak to John, you can do it in one of two places: 1) John's blog (for the time being while the commenting section is available to you free of charge but with restrictions), 2), where it's always been free to talk to John, and it always will be...

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Been Too Quiet Here? One Reason Why

Let's face it --- John Loftus has hit the end of his usefulness.

He's reduced himself to linking to childish YouTube videos and re-recommending crappy books he already recommended weeks ago.

I see Loftus wandering aimlessly through the streets on Angola, Indiana, looking under rocks, into sewers and trash cans, hoping for some inspiration for a new post.

He can't find one. And you can only repeat "buy my book" so many times, even to yourself.

It appears that he's broken now and can't be fixed. Pretty soon his moment in the sun will be over -- or maybe it IS over already -- and he'll become one of those long-forgotten freethinkers like Herbert Cutner whose name only appears in bibliographies of books by people who think Ezekiel saw a UFO.

Good night, John Boy.